When does life begin? When does life end? These are questions that have plagued mankind from the beginning. It is only now, with advanced medical science, that the issue has been made more complicated. Still the essence of life is one that seems impossible to define with a concrete answer because it is based on if there is a soul and if so, when or where is it and if no soul, then what makes us who we are? At what point does the thing that makes us alive appear and when does it disappear? Do we have the right to play god with our lives and the lives of others? Who should rightfully determine quality of life or should it even be determined at all if the person has the mere scant signs of life?
The concept of a “moment of death” is entirely a Western idea. Most cultures allow the family of the dead to determine, ultimately, when the loved one is actually gone. When that time has been decided, then arrangements are made based on cultural and religious beliefs.
Times used to be more simple before medical science could detect traces of brain activity and even the faintest pulse or measure even the weakest breathing input. It used to be that if a person was lying there, and no one could hear a heartbeat nor see evidence of breathing, it was generally considered that was more than likely a dead person. By today’s standards, many of those considered dead back then would be declared alive now.
A person who may have been comatose in the past would have been labeled dead if there were no obvious signs of life, but today would have been kept on life support in hopes that perhaps the condition will reverse itself or there would be a cure and the person could live again. Before medical science got to the point where it is today, even those in a coma with signs of life were considered on their deathbed because there was usually no going back. Today, most in a comatose state rarely ever come back to normal and suffer some degree of brain damage, but many do come back to the world of the living. Others in a coma never fully return to the world of the living and are in essence trapped inside their bodies. This condition brings many hurtful debates between family members and loved ones who must now determine if that person is really alive or dead.
Things used to be a little less complicated back then, but they still encountered a problem. Sometimes those they thought were dead were still alive only to die in a coffin full of scratch marks from the inside when the formerly dead tried to escape. This was a fear, to be buried alive. Many people made requests which seemed odd to assure they would never be buried alive such as sticking a needle or squirting lemon juice in their eyes to see if there was any flinching or draining all the blood or removing the head to assure the person will never wake up buried. Other cultures kept vigil over the dead for sometimes days, weeks, months and even over a year – just to be sure the loved one is actually not home.
To complicate matters, machines can detect the slightest traces of life, but those who run the machines can make different interpretations of the same data it feeds out. In one country the same person would be considered dead whereas in another country the person is considered very much alive who may need the assistance of machines to help them with the things the living should never be deprived such as food, water and air. Others consider it cruel to artificially keep someone alive who otherwise could not eat, drink or breathe on their own because it extends any pain and humiliation they may be feeling with a life being lived through by a machine.
Most doctors do not even believe there really is a “moment of death” or a magical instant when the life force surrenders itself. Death often comes in gradual stages, or more correctly, people are dying, even in those with traumatic and sudden life-threatening conditions. Sometimes they can be rescued from the point of no return and other times there is nothing that can be done. Life and death is not cut and dry. Until one can determine, for certainty, where the essence of what makes us human is located, how to measure its life-force, and when it is gone, then no one can really argue for a moment of death. Your final days will always be arbitrary based on who is around you at that time, as it has always been.
I used to work with the dying. I would be by their side and help them make their last days as comfortable as possible. Sometimes when they came to me, they still were feisty and were in denial that death was around the corner. They would give me the hardest time because they were very much full of life and resented being treated like they were dying.
Eventually, they would come to the next stage when they had to admit to themselves that their bodies were indeed giving out on them. There would be depression and anger over what they could have done with their lives and how it is unfair that they are dying.
Sooner or later, many, though not all, would come to a point of acceptance. They were too weak to fight it anymore. It was a struggle and they would accept that soon they would be free from their bodies. Many seemed relieved moments before obvious signs of life were no longer detectable. Many knew when their time was coming. Even some of the patients, whose families did not want to tell them they were dying, knew their time was up.
Ms. D, one of my most memorable cases, was crippled with arthritis so badly she was confined to bed for the last few years of her life. In her prime, she was a teacher who was very athletic. She was very active in her community and church. She was close to her family and loved to go about as she pleased. When the disease came into her toes, ankles, knees, hands, and in her back, she was in constant pain. She resented that she had to have strangers in her house to look after her. She did not like to be at anyone’s mercy, especially in her own home. She wanted to be active again. She wanted to take care of her home and her garden instead of relying on others to do it for her. Movement was painful and impossible as the disease spread.
She was angry and bitter. She was one of those clients you really cringe about when you get such a case. She was short tempered and would find any excuse to yell at you. Eventually, that stage ended. She was depressed. Everyday she would ask her caregivers to do something to kill her.
Of course, we could never assist with such a request as it is not legal. If she were in other parts of the world, she could have fully participated in physician assisted suicide and gone in peace in a short time. Her condition was not reversible and she would have to spend the rest of her life in bed. I could understand and even empathize with her.
Instead, we had to put up with this stage for another 6 months. Near the end, she refused to eat. She knew we would never kill her and she could go on like that for years. She refused the doctor’s orders for a feeding tube to force feed her. She was determined to die at home without medical interference. About a week before she died, she seemed oddly serene and at peace. She was actually nice and would reflect about her life. She was still in pain, but she seemed to know it was almost over which made it more tolerable for her to bare.
In the end, no heroic measures were made to save nor extend her life. She had a living will. It spared her family from the heart wrenching choice of whether or not to force medical care on her. In essence, Ms. D’s death was a suicide, but because of the circumstances it was labeled natural causes. Had she not refused to eat, she would still be alive, in her bed, writhing in never-ending pain.
What was in the news over the Schivo case is nothing really new. These kinds of situations happen every single day. She was not the only person to cling to that gray area between life and death only to have family fight over what should be done. These kinds of nasty family battles happen all the time because there is no “moment of death” and very much many issues regarding “quality of life”. Chances are Mrs. Schivo would never walk again, talk with her family, feed herself, or do anything we take for granted. Then again, many with disabilities are very much alive who cannot do things we take for granted. The question was whether she was really alive or in a vegetative state [basically a permanent coma.] Either way, she would have always been confined to a facility under the medical care of the institute. She was in no position to decide her fate.
The thing most people don’t understand, many people find themselves in that same situation. When their lives are in limbo and there is no legal document on what to do, families with various beliefs will begin nasty feuds where healing is impossible. The person in the state of limbo probably is totally unaware of what is going on between the people they love and is at their mercy.
People who were in such conditions, before medical science developed feeding tubes, would have died sooner of starvation. Without today’s technologies, people who are in serious medical trouble can be retrieved from strokes, heart attacks or even comas only to be alive by support of some type of machine which centuries ago was not available leaving people back then on the immediate road to death. Is it right to extend life artificially because we can or are we just delaying the inevitable? Again, we are at the mercy of those around us when we die as we have always been.
On the opposite end of the scale, we are at the mercy of those around us from before we are born because much like the inability to define the “moment of death” we still cannot define the “moment of life.” That concept is also a very Western idea.
Much like death, life begins in gradual stages. While we can all agree when a person is starting to die, we generally do not treat them as already dead. In the case of the pre-born, we find ourselves in a position where we do not necessarily treat them as alive until they pass the birth canal.
What makes a person alive from birth? A sperm, in and of itself, is a human sperm. An egg is just an egg. Both have only half of the human genetic code – a two piece puzzle that is not complete until put together. If these two never meet, they always remain only half of a potential life until its usefulness expires and it dissolves. Neither the egg nor the sperm can live outside the human body as they do not have a brain, organs, or anything remotely human except for half of the genetics of a human code.
The moment the two worlds collide, something happens. It is not an instant creation, but a gradual process when the sperm starts to penetrate the shell and then locking out all the competing sperm from entering the domain of the future person. The cells unite and then divide into a multi-celled organism. It is at this point this clump of cells is genetically speaking a human clump of cells with the biological possibility to be born. The clump of cells are actively alive and growing into the different parts to become the future person. Technically speaking, it is a living human. Technically speaking, it is also not a fully functional human being.
A clump of cells cannot live on its own. When the brain, the heart, and other vital organs are not even in place, this is not technically a functional human being. It is only in the gradual stages towards being born. It is at this stage where many miscarriages take place. Most of the time the woman doesn’t even know she is pregnant at this point. That clump of cells within her is at her mercy and at the mercy of others around her. At this point, that clump of cells has no concrete means to think, reason nor feel and is unaware of its circumstances.
Eventually, that clump of cells does develop a brain and organs within a fragile skeletal structure. It is feeding from the life support system of the mother. A serious accident or illness could put this fragile life support system in chaos which could put an end to the future of the unborn. Whether it is aware of the environment or not is unknown. It is questionable at the early stages of pregnancy whether the unborn can feel, think, or reason. On its own, it cannot survive outside of the womb of the mother. It simply does not have all the necessary parts to live a viable life outside of the mother.
After about 20 weeks into this stage, the unborn could be born at any time. Most places consider such early births as extremely high risk. Many of those are considered stillborn as opposed to miscarried because had they survived they would merely be premature babies. Medical science has made it so babies born as early as 20 weeks into the 40 week pregnancy could survive outside the womb in a viable manner. Many will have compromised quality of life issues, but others will turn out just fine.
My oldest child was born 28 weeks into my pregnancy. She was under 3 pounds and very tiny. I could see her insides through her skin. She was very feisty. Despite her circumstances, she baffled the doctors. They put tubes and all kinds of wires on her the first few days, but she showed them she did not need all of that. She took to the bottle feedings and would spend her days in the incubator squirming around wanting to do something other than being cooped up. The normal course would have recommended babies born prematurely stay until they were at least 5 pounds. They released her when she was 4.5 pounds a mere 6 weeks later. She was fine.
There were others in NICU who were like her and perfectly fine despite their early beginnings. Some were not so lucky and died soon after they were born. Many would have lifelong disabilities because of the fragile beginnings. The point is, after about 20 weeks, a baby can survive outside of the mother’s womb. All are brought into this world at the mercy of others and of circumstance over which we have no control. We did not ask to be born, but once we are born generally struggle to do whatever it takes to stay alive.
When my daughter was still inside of me, I had pictures of her with her fingers in her mouth. This was a habit that followed her after birth. It took a long time for me to get into her head to keep her two middle fingers out of her mouth. Although this is anecdotal in nature, it does make me wonder if there really is some sort of feeling of the pre-born inside. My daughter sucked her fingers for comfort just like she did inside of me.
At some point, gradually we turn more and more into the humans we were meant to be inside the mother. We just aren’t cooked yet until we are born. I am not about to lecture on the rights or wrongs of abortion, just yet. I bow to your own logic on the matter. Much like the “moment of death” which is arbitrary in nature, so is the “moment of life.”
When exactly does what makes us who we are enter the body? No one knows because no one can locate that “it” which is the essence of us. At death, our bodies can be alive, but that essence of us can be long gone and no one can determine for certainty when that left either. Society at large has always dictated, according to the knowledge at the time, what is life and what is death. The views we have on this issue today will probably be laughed at in the future. Practices deemed as totally reasonable in the past have been labeled as barbaric today.
Murder has always been a human taboo. Murder being the “unlawful” taking of another’s life. On the surface, murder seems cut and dry, but often it is not that simple because one must define what is lawful when it comes to taking another life. In the United States and a few other countries, the death penalty is legal, therefore not the unlawful taking of another life. In other countries, especially in Europe, the death penalty is illegal and considered an unlawful taking of another’s life. Many in these countries find the practice of the death penalty as barbaric. Those in countries where it is accepted as legal find nothing wrong with it. Is it moral or ethical?
Society has always dictated the moral and ethical code for its people. Even on the issue of the death penalty, many who use books such as the Bible as the source of their moral code are on both sides of the issue. Some use it to advocate the death penalty while others use it to denounce the practice. Often, people fail to see beyond their own points of view to realize there are many sides to this, as well as many other life or death issues. Life and death are not cut and dry.
Even in what some consider to be “civilized” societies, people differ on the issue of the death penalty where it is legal. Is it really ever humane to take another life? If so, should we concern ourselves with killing a person on death row in a kind manner, which the killer did not do when they killed their victim? Are we aiming for justice or revenge or is the death penalty a little of both?
People take the lives of others when defending their life against an attacker. People take the lives of others when fighting a war. These are now considered perfectly reasonable justifications for taking another human life, but will it be so in the future?
Those who are pro-choice get in arguments all the time over this issue on when one can determine if they have the right to take a life. Even those who are pro-life get caught up in the little details. Some who are otherwise pro-life may think it is okay to take the life of an unborn conceived in rape or incest, but it is still a living human according to others in the pro-life movement who is no different from any other pre-born who did not determine how they came into being.
Is it cruel or is it kind to prevent a person from being born who would have a difficult life? Who are we to say their life would be too difficult to live? Who are we to force people to handle a child that no one else will take care of? Like in the moment near death, it is a private matter to be handled by those who will be directly affected by the decision. It makes no sense for those outside of the family who are not directly impacted by the action to have to force the participants in one direction or another.
Suicide is also a complicated issue of life versus death. There are two categories of suicide – those who commit or attempt to commit it to escape emotional pain and those who use it to escape physical pain. To get to the place where one ignores the basic instinct of self-survival is not something one does out of the blue.
A person who is otherwise healthy, but go down this dark path often are trying to escape the feeling they are stuck in a dark place with no answers and no one can help. They feel if this is the case, they will always feel this miserable and if they ever want to escape this type of mental torture, the only way they can do it is through death. Unless you have felt the depths of such mental anguish, it may be hard for you to understand that one cannot just “snap out of it”. When the chemistry in the brain misfires and tells the person their life is hopeless, reason and logic cannot correct what is going on inside their heads. This is a state of mental illness. It is one that can be corrected with medications and therapy. They are not doing it to spite their loved ones. They cannot help they are this way. They feel enough guilt that they are this way. It only adds to their despair when people don’t try to understand they are not doing it deliberately. It is the worst kind of mental tunnel vision one can experience. When you experience and see nothing but pain and no way out, the thought of suicide seems like a logic option.
Of course, when we have a healthy mind, we know this is not the case. The unhealthy mind cannot see what we see. Unfortunately, it is impossible to save everyone suffering this kind of mental torment. Unless the person reaches out and accepts help, they cannot be helped. They may linger on their natural days in a depressed funk or they may choose to end their lives and be successful. It is a tragedy that could be avoided only if they get the needed help.
The survivors of a suicide victim are often in more dire straits than if the person died by accident or natural causes. The tendency is towards anger at the victim for making them feel bad and helpless that they could not help them before it was too late. Even in cases of attempted suicides, the loved ones tend to distance themselves from the victims because they never want to go through that kind of pain again. This form of suicide is only destructive. The unfortunate victims who succeed often felt there was no other choice. It was their mental state which caused their downfall. It is unfortunate, but it is an illness much like a person who died with cancer.
The other circumstance of suicide involves those who are seriously ill or dying anyway. Much like those who commit suicide because of internal pain, these people have a physical pain that will not go away. These are the critical people who will never recover and live a life they deem worth living. They feel it is better to go while they still have their minds in one piece and to die with dignity than to let others ponder over their half-dead bodies tending to all of their personal needs. Some of these people could live for many years with their conditions. Others know they will go soon, but want to speed up the process. Is it right for those not living their life to make this kind of choice for them?
There are so many aspects on the issues of life and death. This ministry teaches that only you alone are responsible for your actions and have to be held accountable for what you do. For your life to be run smoother, it is best to follow the simple rules when making any decisions:
One must show love to all, especially to self
One must always forgive, especially self
One must always show respect, especially to self
One must always be honest, especially to self
Until medical science has determined once and for all the so-called moment of life or death, it should always remain a matter between those who are directly impacted by the decisions made.
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